Saturday, December 06, 2008

Robo-calling rich folks with investment advice?

"Hi, I'm Jim Coleman, and my records indicate you're a qualified investor. If you are a qualified investor, please press 1 ..."

That's the robocall I received on a Thursday morning at 8:30 am. I was getting ready to leave for work and I hung up at "press 1." But then, as I frequently do, I starting thinking about the marketing tactics being employed here.

According to this site, qualified investors are "individuals, trust accounts or institutional funds with at least $5 million in assets to invest." Therein lies my whole problem with this campaign.

I thought to myself that if I'm worth $5 million, do you suppose I got where I did by answering unsolicited robocalls for investment advice? Presumably, I'm either knowledgeable enough to invest on my own, or smart enough to have a real adviser, one that I found through referral or some other more reliable means, not via robocall.

Also, why would they call at 8:30 am when the qualified investor has either left for work or about to do so? Do qualified investors not work? Maybe they're targeting super-qualified investors who don't go to work anymore. But then, that takes me back to my first point: super-qualified investors are even less likely to respond to robocalls from Jim.

That's when it dawned on me. By asking if the call recipient is qualified, then maybe they're trying to target non-qualified suckers who want to become qualified.

It's kind of like Club 33. About 10 years ago, my company had one of the few corporate memberships to Club 33 at Disneyland, and I took my family there several times. The entrance to the club was an understated door with a 33 on it on one of the main thoroughfares through the New Orleans section. To get in, you rang the bell and the host would ask you to identify yourself, then buzz you in.

The sight of my family ringing that doorbell, being identified, then buzzed in, captivated all those around us. A glance back as we walked in showed faces with a range of emotions from curiousity to envy. People wanted to be part of the club because it was exclusive. They had no idea what was in there, they just knew that they weren't in there.

Non-qualified investors want to be qualified, even if they don't know what qualified is. So they "press 1." That's the only thing I can conclude about that campaign. Maybe next time, I'll take the time to press 1 to learn more.

4 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Apparently, it depends on where you look; but generally what I've seen is that a qualified investor (for the purpose of determining suitability for risky investments) requires a net worth of at least $1,000,000 or an annual income of at least $200,000.

Anyway, I just received a call at 04:27 pm Tuesday very similar to the one described. Caller ID said "unknown name -- unknown number". As I remember the recording it went: "This is Jim Carlson. It just came across my desk that you are a qualified investor. If this information is correct press 1; if this information is incorrect press 2". I pressed "2" thinking at the time that I didn't want to try pressing "1" which might possibly result in more calls or a mailbox even more filled with junk mail than I already have. But, in retrospect I think that pressing "1" may have been the better alternative if that would have resulted in actually talking to someone and possibly identifying who this is; i.e. getting an address or phone number. If I had done so and been successful at identification then Jim Coleman, Jim Carlson, etc. could have at least been reported to the FTC for violating the "do not call list". If there is anyone who has pressed "1" and would like to admit it, it would be interesting to know what happened.

Ashcakesquiggle said...

i just had that happen to me at my work place, the robot was talking to the answering machine though, so i couldn't press any buttons.... i wish i was here at 8.36 last night to pick up the call... or not :)

Anonymous said...

I pressed one just now on Christmas eve 2009. An answering machine finally came on after a bunch of blah blah blah for suckers. I then told them they were REALLY ignorant to keep calling on the 24th and in a manner not unlike theirs, I told them to F off.